FIRST IMPRESSION PROSE (Season 20, Episode 1)

Before watching last night’s Kansas vs. Oklahoma triple overtime classic, I spent two full hours ingesting my very first episode of THE BACHELOR.

A few quick takeaways:

1. I’ve been wasting way too much time consuming obscure/prestige “Peak TV” cable/streaming dramas (such as Sundance’s riveting German spy thriller DEUTSCHLAND 83).

2. “Twin” isn’t an occupation (unless you’re 1997-2007/2015 Torii Hunter).

3. Don’t ritually sacrifice bread when it can be easily shared with a less fortunate mini-horse.

4. Faux humility is more irritating (and insulting) than shameless arrogance.

5. Never name your daughter “Lauren.”

6. Can’t wait ’til next week.

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